True story

This is re-pasted from another website (where I posted it) to preserve it for all eternity.

It actually happened to me.

Ok. A little background. Currently I am wearing a pair of dress pants, a belt, a pair of relatively new boxers with excellent elasticity in the waistband (Spongebob Squarepants motif, by the way) and a button-down shirt. Because I have recently started getting back in shape, my pants are somewhat loose, and my belt is tightened all the way. For those of you familiar with this type of sartorial jury-rigging, this means that the waistband of my pants is somewhat bunched. Given the nature of the clasp on this particular pair of dress pants, this occasionally causes my pants to unbutton (although they remain on my person, due to the action of the belt).

Anyway. I needed to pee. As is my wont when such a need arises, I went to the mens room, and stood in front of the urinal. I unzipped my pants, and hooked a thumb in the elastic waistband of my Spongebob boxers, pulling them down to free myself and direct my stream appropriately. At this point, looking down, I noticed that my pants had become unbuttoned (as discussed above.) Holding my unit in place with the fingers of my left hand, and my boxer waistband with the thumb of the same hand, I started to unbuckle my belt with my right hand, so I could re-button my pants.

Unfortunately, as I was doing this, someone walked in. We'll call him "Jim" (his name is actually Steve, but that would be confusing). Again, due to my having lost weight recently, my pants are loose. Now, bereft of the support system of my belt, my pants began sliding down, exposing the Spongebob Squarepants print on my ass to Jim.

In a desperate attempt to conceal my boxers from this co-worker, I released both my unit and my boxers from the grip of my left hand, and reached for my pants. Unfortunately, this resulted in the powerful elastic of my boxer waistband to immediately snap into place some two inches above my unit. This, in turn, caused my unit to snap into a directly vertical alignment.

I was still peeing.

The pee streamed in an arc along the wall of the urinal. Acting out of instinct to avoid peeing on my shirt, I stepped backwards while sealing off my kegel muscles. I managed to trip on a tile.

So, to sum up, I am now sitting on the floor of the men's room, my pants are around my knees, and my unit is peeking out of the top of my now exposed Spongebob boxers. Jim witnessed the entire escapade.

I have closed my office door, and am contemplating resignation/suicide.